i will never be a teenage author

photo by me

i'm turning twenty this summer. and i'm scared.

i hate change. i hate the idea of getting older. of losing my childhood and entering the scary phase of adulthood. of growing up. the possibility of outgrowing or losing touch with old friends.

i'm sitting here, thinking of all the things that i will never accomplish as a teenager.

- i will never publish a book as a teenager. 

- i will never date as a teenager.

- i will never travel to another country as a teenager.

and the list could go on and on.

photo by me

and i know it's silly. there's so many exciting things ahead of me, and i shouldn't be upset that i won't be a teenager anymore. 

but it's ok.

it's ok to feel sad and regretful. 

i've thought about this a lot. 

it's ok that i won't ever be a teenage author. because, you know, i'm not ready. i could publish a story now, but it would be awful. 

and it's ok. 

i may not publish a book until i'm twenty five or thirty or even later. 

and that's ok.

i will eventually publish a story. it may be a story that i wrote as a teenager. a book that i spent the summer of '18 writing - and falling in love with storytelling. 

now, i'm not trying to say that people shouldn't publish books as teenagers. i've read many amazing books written + published by teenagers, and i have so much respect for them. 

but, i don't want to do something just to do something. i don't want to publish a crappy book just to say, hey look at me. i'm a teenage author. 

i may never be a teenage author, but i was once a teenage writer.

photo by me

instead of thinking of all the things i will never accomplish or do as a teenager, i started thinking about what i have done as a teenager. 

- i wrote two novels as a teenager. 

- i edited one as a teenager. 

- i wrote countless short stories and started dozens more as a teenager. the tattered pieces of notebook paper, covered in my childish scrawl, live in an overflowing file box under my desk. they're a testament to how much i've grown as a writer, even in the last year.

as a teenager, i became a voracious reader. i fell in love with harry potter and sherlock holmes and agatha christie, and found books that have changed my life in countless ways. as a teenager, i discovered the incredible power that words hold. 

as a teenager, i became serious about my faith and strove to make it my own. as a teenager, i pursued many interests and applied to colleges. as a teenager, i stepped out of my comfort zone when i moved away to college. as a teenager, i discovered that i didn't want to major in chemistry or science - and  decided to pursue a career that i never considered before. 

as a teenager, i learned how to drive and overcame my crippling fear of driving. now, i enjoy driving. something that i never thought possible. 

as a teenager, i realized how much i love writing and decided that no matter what i major in, i would always be a writer. 

and you know, i still have a lot to learn about writing. 

one of the books that i wrote as a teenager has no plot. it's a rambling, sun-filled book about two best friends who write a book together. that's it. there's a whole lot of work to be done.

the other book that i completed as a teenager has a lot of drafts ahead of it. the dialogue needs to be written. the characters need more development. themes have to be incorporated earlier. but ya know? i had so much fun writing that book. i'm really enjoying editing it right now. 

all in all, it's ok that i haven't published anything as a teenager. eventually, i will publish a story. whether traditional or indie, i don't know yet. 

it's ok that i will never do certain things as a teenager. 

all i know is that there are exciting adventures ahead, and i trust that God knows what He's doing in my life. 

- - - -

so this post is just me spewing thoughts

that have been on my mind lately.

i hope it all makes sense.

love, 

a l l i s o n 

why i will always love narnia [fandoms part 3]

i've been in a nostalgic mood for the past few days, and i've been thinking a lot about Narnia & my childhood obsession about it. so, with all this free time i have now (cuz thanks to the coronavirus, i'm doing college at home for the rest of the semester ;), i decided to write a rambly letter to C.S. Lewis, thanking him for Narnia.

dear c.s. lewis, 
thank you for making my childhood so memorable. thank you for writing seven lovely, inspiring books that not only sparked my love of reading, but also my desire to write my own stories. i apologize for my poorly written fanfictions when i was ten, and i promise that i won't use your characters or storyworld, but instead i'll create my own.

thank you for creating a world where i could spend countless hours dreaming and journeying with the Pevensie siblings. where i could pretend to sit on a throne in Cair Paravel and pretend that i was Queen Lucy the Valiant. or ride alongside Aravis and Shasta, or sail on the Dawn Treader with Caspian and Reepicheep.

i don't remember which came first, Narnia or Marvel, but Narnia was my first real obsession / fandom. i first read the Chronicles of Narnia when i was seven / eight, and i fell head-over-heels in love with the gorgeous world, characters, and, of course, Aslan.

i vividly remember sitting on my bedroom floor sobbing when i read that Peter and Susan would not return to Narnia after Prince Caspian. and when i read The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, i cried even harder when Aslan told Lucy and Edmund they would not return either. i was heartbroken when i read The Last Battle, and saw that Susan had chosen to forget Narnia. it took me awhile to get over that, as i couldn't fathom how somebody could choose to forget such a wonderful, magical place.

thank you for creating a world so vivid and real, especially to a tiny, curly-haired eight year old girl who cried when she realized that she would never be able to visit Narnia.

i remember sitting in a sleeping bag, looking up at the stars and reciting the Narnia constellations (cuz, like the obsessed weirdo i was - i, of course, memorized all the names). that's when i felt the heartache, of loving a fictional place so much that it hurt. (yes i know i was a very dramatic child. still am) i dreamed of opening a wardrobe and finding Narnia just like Lucy.

thank you for creating such genuine, relatable characters. Lucy was my favorite, mainly because she was so similar to me in age and personality. i longed to be like Queen Lucy the Valiant, and made my own cordial just like hers.

i began collecting all forms of Narnia literature and media, and still have them to this day. all the movie storybooks, Chik fil a abridged storybooks, making-of-the movie companions, and my treasured LWW graphic novel are carefully packed away in a box under my bed.

thank you for creating a world so vivid and beloved, that people were able to make movie adaptions. i saw the movies when i was nine, and i loved them. words cannot describe how much tiny me loved them (and adult me still loves them). i know the 2nd and 3rd movies are controversial, since they're so different from the books. but i still adore them. i will always remember the awe and pure happiness i felt when i saw The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for the first time, and saw Narnia come to life before my eyes.

i've seen the movies countless times (seriously - the discs are all scratched bc of how much we watched them). we always watched Prince Caspian on our big family road trips to florida. i fell in love with the cast, who portrayed the Pevensie siblings so authentically.

and then, when we discovered the Focus on the Family Radio Theatre's dramatic adaptions of the books....we listened to the audiobooks every year on those big road trips, and those only helped to make Narnia a richer, more vivid world.

thank you for creating such memorable characters and unforgettable lines, that my family still quote today. "the tisroc - may he live forever." "tash tash tash the great god tash...." (inside joke lol) "how dare you come alone??!!" Reepicheep, Rabadash, Laslaraleen (spelling? lol), Puzzle, Uncle Andrew, Jadis, and so many others.

and of course, my favorite quote: courage, dear heart. 


thank you, c.s. lewis. i can't wait for the day that i get to meet you in heaven, and express all my gratitude and love for your Chronicles of Narnia.

and no matter how old i am, i will still peek into every wardrobe i see, just in case it leads to Narnia.

love,

a l l i s o n

- - - - 

was narnia your first fandom? 

if not, what was it?

hope this post wasn't melodramatic or sappy...narnia will always hold

a very special place in my heart, & i wanted to try to express

why i love it so much. 

hope y'all are doing well with all this craziness!

a. r.

get to know me tag | writer's edition

I've been wanting to do this tag for awhile, and then Danielle tagged me <3 thank you!! 

fyi, all pics below are from pinterest. 

 ~link back to the person who created the tag~ 

   ~thank the person who tagged you~

thank you, Danielle! <3 <3

  ~share the tag graphic (optional, optional! I know it won't go with everyone's blog design)~ 

  ~tag eleven bloggers~ 

//vital stats + appearance//

pen name: Allison Riera. 

nicknames: my dad used to call me "Spunk" when I was younger....my youngest brother called me "Allisonnnnnnn" for about a year....another brother called me "Ack" when we were young....now, none lol

birthday: in the summer :)

hair color + length: brown curly hair that's either incredibly frizzy or, on certain occasions, actually okay xD

eye color: hazel

braces/piercings/tattoos: used to but now they're off #finally/ears are pierced/not yet but maybe one day :D 

righty or lefty: righty

ethnicity: mixture of Spanish, German, and Norwegian

//firsts//

first novel written: uhhh, I wrote a book (more like a mini novella, it was so short) for my dad's birthday when I was twelve-ish. It was called "Tears of an Ocean" and was incredibly depressing. That was back when I was obsessed with the Titantic don't ask xD and the plot was basically two street kids get adopted by rich British people and then they go to America on the Titanic and then all the guys die and the girls survive but are heartbroken. yup. 

first novel completed: "The Island Story" that I wrote for my one of my brothers as an ongoing birthday/Christmas present for several years. Based off our own crazy, awesome family and the island we go to for family reunions. Basically a ripoff of 39 Clues. But somehow I finished it and went on to write two more, "Catherine's Clue" and "Winter at the Island". awesome titles, allison 

award for writing: I won second place in an essay contest, if that counts. Other than that, nope. :D

first publication: nothing yet. :) My goal is to self-publish my current WIPs, the day we met and unforgettable, soon. but we'll see :))

conference: not yet. I really want to go to Realm Makers sometime soon. maybe next year? And, my goal is to go to BookCon next year. :D

query/pitch: nope. 

//favorites//

novel (that you wrote): my current WIPs the day we met and unforgettable. 

genre: to read? contemporary and dystopian. to write? contemporary. though i really want to write a dystopian/speculative book about superheroes. 

author: WHYYYYY. I can't name just one, so here are some of my favorites: 

• j. k. rowling
• suzanne collins
• maggie stiefvater
• nadine brandes
• k.a. emmons
• marissa meyer

writing music: oh gravity//basically anything by peter + evynne hollens//any classical music//the wonder woman soundtrack

time to write: at night, on the couch in the family room with all my family and the tv on (#americanpickers or #foodnetwork). honestly though, any time is good for me. especially mornings with coffee :D

writing snack/drink: coffee (hot or iced). tea. seltzer water. chocolate. popcorn.

movie: WHYYYYY. again, I can't name just one. here are some of my favorites: 

• the winter soldier (my favorite marvel movie)
• north by northwest
• wonder woman
• the empire strikes back

writing memory: writing in one of my many notebooks (before I got my laptop, George--and yes i named my laptop) at night and my dad coming in and asking me about what I was writing. I would always answer with "my Great American novel" and my dad would grin and say he couldn't wait to read it. he would always call me john-boy too:)) #waltons

childhood book: narnia. the trixie belden series. elsie dinsmore series. controversial i know, but one day i will write a post why i will always love the elsie dinsmore series 

//currently//

reading:  a lot, xD. i have this bad habit of reading like eight books at once. here are all the books i'm currently reading: 

• "twilight" bc i have to read it so i'm allowed to critique it. :P
• "the brothers karamazov" for school
• "fawkes" by nadine brandes
• "a thousand perfect notes" by c.g. drews

writing: the day we met for the Go Teen Writers 100-4-100 challenge. AND I JUST HIT 50K ON IT! so excited :D only three chapters left and it's done. :D

listening to: THE HAMILTON SOUNDTRACK :D for like the sixtieth time #ssshh also, Dear Evan Hansen. Owl City. Twenty One Pilots. 

watching: JEOPARDY every night xD//studio c//bones//sherlock//AND THE OFFICE (literally my friend and i are binge-watching this. we're already on the third season xD)

learning: writing is not easy. when you get tired of your story, take a break (cue hamilton music, lol). writing a book is definitely not easy. family is precious and you should postpone writing to spend time with them. every moment should be treasured. pray about anything and everything. choose to be happy. 

//future//

want to be published: YES. :P

indie or traditional: before I entered the blogging world, I never heard of self-publishing. But now, indie publishing is my current ambition. It's the perfect solution to balancing writing with my other passion (forensic science) and gives me control over my writing. although, I am open to both, so we'll see what happens :D.

wildest goal: to open a coffee shop + bookstore (full of all writerly friends' books) that's open twenty four hours, so you can get the next book in a series asap. :D

anyone who is still emotionally scarred from "Infinity War" sobbing x_x

or, 
anyone who wants to do this tag :)

because so many people have already done this xD

what's your favorite writing music?
also, favorite movie? 

<3 <3, 

allison riera

how i became a writer

i have always written stories. i don't remember exactly when I thought to myself, i want to be a writer, but it must have been when i was nine/ten/ish. 

my first stories were all blatantly copied from movies i had just watched, or books i had read. or just long, dragging stories about a girl with a big family who lived on a farm. with horses. (idk why...i don't live on a farm or own horses xD)

the first story i actually finished (okay, it was a short story--barely 20 pages) was called "Tears of An Ocean" and was horribly depressing. that was when i was going thru a titantic obsession (has anyone else been obsessed with a particular historical period?). basically, everyone died. yup. xD

the first story that was actual-book-length was called "The Island Story" and was loosely *cough cough* based on my crazy fun family reunions on this island in the bay. also based on "the 39 clues" series. i wrote several sequels to it. 

and i have a file box full of stories i started and abandoned after one page. they're all really bad. trust me, xD.

i became serious about writing about a year ago. that was when i discovered the blogging world. i saw teen girls, just like me, who had already completed stories that were novel-length, and more. and i knew that more than ever, i wanted to be like them. 

i wanted a blog to describe my writerly adventures. i wanted to finish a story of my own. i wanted to see my book on my shelf, beside my favorite authors. 

and i determined to finish a story. i went through all my story ideas...all my plot bunnies that one day, hopefully i'll complete. i chose a story that was near and dear to my heart: a story that is now one of my two current WIPs, unforgettable. it's based on the crazy adventures of me and my friends and our dream that one day, we'll go on a road trip just like my story. 

that story is sitting at 21k. which is pretty darn amazing for me, because i've never gone past the first three chapters of any one of my stories. (except for those mentioned above, which i don't count xD)

now, i'm working on my other WIP, the day we met, in conjunction with the GTW 100-4-100 challenge. it's about friendship and iced coffee and stories and platonic love. 

i'm still a long way away from completing my current WIP (i'm at 43k!!), but i know that i will finish. and it'll be a messy, disgusting first draft, but i'm super excited about editing it (ikr? i'm weird). 

anyway, that's the abbreviated story of how i became a writer. :))

so, when did y'all know you wanted to be a writer?

also, was anyone else obsessed with a particular historical period? 

<3 <3

allison riera